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medicine: wk2, day7 i'm trying hard to think of s...
i'm getting old. no ball today. i wanted to, but t...
medicine: wk1,day6 (sat) sign that i'm going craz...
medicine: wk1, day5 today, i saw a cardiac cathe...
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medicine: wk1, day 3 i felt i had just put my hea...
Bryant made an NBA-record 12 shots from 3-point ra...
medicine: wk 1, day 2 i woke up at 4am today to r...
after dinner, i took a walk to think. i ended up...
medicine: wk2, days 8, 9, 10
it's been brutal.
i've been running on fumes.
i had to stick mr. x again. he no longer fights. i don't know if that is a good or bad thing. it feels ominous.
as i held his hand, looking for a vein, he said something inaudibly, in a mumble.
"excuse me?" i asked.
"you're warm," he mumbled a little louder.
i understood what he meant, and stopped looking for a vein. i sat on his bed, and held his hand between my two hands. we sat there for a while, looking out the window. he couldn't really feel death, i knew. i am young, with a good heart, and hot blood coursed through my arteries. that heat was what he was feeling. but for that moment, my body seemed full of life, and his.... seeping away. i wished that somehow i could give him some of my heat, some of my life.
after some time, i got his blood. even though he had almost no veins left, i'm getting it on the first try for him these days.
*****
a moment of humor:
doc: how are you doing today, mr. z?
mr. z: pretty good!
doc: pretty good?
mr. z: don't believe me, i'm lying!
*****
a sad moment:
doc (cheerfully): do you know what year it is, mr. y?
mr. y: sure!
doc: what year is it, mr. y?
mr.y: ......
doc: mr. y, do you know what year it is?
mr. y:......19.....1960....
doc (soberly, quietly, gently): mr. y. it's 2003...
shock registers on mr. y's face. he knows that he has memory problems, and tries to go with it, "yes, yes, it's 2003," but he's clearly shaken.
the room is quiet, as we realize how much he has regressed. i think about what it would be like, to wake up one day, and have everyone around me tell me that it is the year 2080. the thought is terrifying.
****
visted by v, a. had a good time. sad that i couldn't be a more entertaining host. i didn't spend any time with them. i was too tired, did work, and went to sleep.
i've fallen asleep in every conference i've had so far. i've fallen right in front of #1, #2, and #3 big wigs. i have this disorder that makes me fall asleep as soon as i sit down, anywhere. either that, or they are WORKING ME TOO FREAKIN HARD. must be the former...
yakob at 11:49 PM
-----------------
it's been brutal.
i've been running on fumes.
i had to stick mr. x again. he no longer fights. i don't know if that is a good or bad thing. it feels ominous.
as i held his hand, looking for a vein, he said something inaudibly, in a mumble.
"excuse me?" i asked.
"you're warm," he mumbled a little louder.
i understood what he meant, and stopped looking for a vein. i sat on his bed, and held his hand between my two hands. we sat there for a while, looking out the window. he couldn't really feel death, i knew. i am young, with a good heart, and hot blood coursed through my arteries. that heat was what he was feeling. but for that moment, my body seemed full of life, and his.... seeping away. i wished that somehow i could give him some of my heat, some of my life.
after some time, i got his blood. even though he had almost no veins left, i'm getting it on the first try for him these days.
*****
a moment of humor:
doc: how are you doing today, mr. z?
mr. z: pretty good!
doc: pretty good?
mr. z: don't believe me, i'm lying!
*****
a sad moment:
doc (cheerfully): do you know what year it is, mr. y?
mr. y: sure!
doc: what year is it, mr. y?
mr.y: ......
doc: mr. y, do you know what year it is?
mr. y:......19.....1960....
doc (soberly, quietly, gently): mr. y. it's 2003...
shock registers on mr. y's face. he knows that he has memory problems, and tries to go with it, "yes, yes, it's 2003," but he's clearly shaken.
the room is quiet, as we realize how much he has regressed. i think about what it would be like, to wake up one day, and have everyone around me tell me that it is the year 2080. the thought is terrifying.
****
visted by v, a. had a good time. sad that i couldn't be a more entertaining host. i didn't spend any time with them. i was too tired, did work, and went to sleep.
i've fallen asleep in every conference i've had so far. i've fallen right in front of #1, #2, and #3 big wigs. i have this disorder that makes me fall asleep as soon as i sit down, anywhere. either that, or they are WORKING ME TOO FREAKIN HARD. must be the former...
yakob at 11:49 PM