Thursday, June 27

several days ago, had conversations with two girls on separate occasions (l,a). the topic of the conversation was the same, by their initiation, by different paths leading to the topic. and the conversations troubled me quite a bit. because they were at completely diff points in their walk, yet what they said about themselves (confessed to experiencing this stuff firsthand), and other girls they knew, was nearly identical.

jealously/unforgiveness.
guys are victim to this too, i know. but while they were talking and describing what girls go through, i felt like it was an entirely different beast they were describing.

guys go through things like this, then they may or may not discover their wrong. if they do, they usually fess up and forgiveness takes place. or if they don't, then they have problems, and distance develops. but there is a simplicity, a directness to how guys deal with this.

girls, on the other hand, develop the jealously/evil feeling towards another girl in a slow, smoldering dislike that becomes hatred. of course, it's because of a guy. and this jealously/evil feeling totally distances girls from other girls. makes them suspicious, insecure, etc. a sense of competition slowly develops. i've even heard girls refer to that gaining of guys' attention as "the game."

the thing is, this type of feeling, the resentment/jealouslyhatred is much more widespread; it is directed towards a lot of girls. guys will rarely go through this, but if so, it is towards only one person. for girls, it can be multiple.

mostly importantly, guys present their concerns to God, and if they are the perpetrators, they will ask forgiveness of the victim and of God, and when forgiven, will know that they are forgiven, and will feel forgiven.

this is not true of girls. i am not making this stuff up. this comes from the lips of women. they have a much harder time feeling forgiven, even while intellectually, they know they are forgiven.

several days ago, j.c. said, when you feel that God's forgiveness is not enough, you are, in effect, trampling on the cross and what Christ has done for you.

honestly, i don't think i've ever had this type of jealously/resentment toward another guy. i really don't know what it's like. so, i'm trying my best not to judge all the girls that go through this (from what i've been hearing, it sounds like all of womenkind). but what jc said keeps ringing true in my mind... perhaps if i go through this also, i will be able to relate better.

there are going to be girls that read all of this and deny vehemently, i'm sure. before you sisters deny this, take a moment to reflect. it's not easy being absolutely, brutally honest.

i'm not putting all of you in this category, and like i said, i'm trying to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. i don't go around, wondering if you or she is like this or that.

but again, this stuff is not MY evaluation. it's stuff that came out from the lips of girls themselves. and really, it is very disturbing to me.

i welcome any comments/rebuttals/confirmations...or anything that would help me understand why...




yakob at 1:37 PM

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