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  • Wednesday, April 23

    plastics wk 2, day 3

    hand surgeries. very cool. controlled. precise. good outcomes. i like this. i could do this, i think.

    cysts, carpal tunnel release.

    **** life in the OR *****

    attending (in a N.Carolina accent. i don't know what a N. Carolina accent really sounds like, but this is what i'd imagine it to be. it's SOME kind of southern accent, ok?!): "so this here is a guillotine. do you know what a guillotine is, jason?"

    me: (jason?! jason?! i thought you knew me, dr. ****!! aaaggh. not again...) "uh, yessir."

    attending: "so, what is it, JASON?"

    me: "it's... (how do you describe a guillotine? everyone knows what a guillotine is) it's... a ... blade ... thing... it slides... you whack off heads with it..."

    attending stops what he was doing and turns to me, with his eyebrows raised: "ooooooooooooooook. ......... do you know when the guillotine was first invented, put to use?"

    me: (trying to think back to history, but memories of research i did at hopkins where i guillotined rat's heads off kept coming to mind instead. think, think, THINK!!! finally, my trusty picture memory came though, and i remembered a project i did in elementary school. i remember drawing pictures of castles, knights, and guillotines, which must have been in use during ...) ".... medieval times!!"

    attending: "medieval times? medieval times!! MEDIEVAL TIMES?! (my trusty spidey sense tells me that this is not the right answer) geezlouise, what are they teaching you these days? turns to resident: do you believe that? medieval times!!"

    me: ..........(smoke dribbling out of my head)....

    attending: "what college did you go to?"

    me: "johns hopkins, sir."

    attending: "johns hopkins? they don't teach you history there?"

    me: ....thinking..... seriously, DID they ever teach me history? "....uh......i'm not sure, sir."

    attending: "do you know of a famous historical person that died by guillotine? i'll give you a clue. the FRENCH invented it."

    me: (really? no way. i thought the brits invented it... i still couldn't shake the pictures of medieval stuff from my elementary school project). "oh really?....." silence. i think he still wanted me to guess, even though i clearly didn't know it was french.

    attending: "here's another clue. it was a king LOOOIE. LOOOIE the...."

    me: "14th? (i know king louis the XIV had done SOMETHING big. i just didn't remember what)"

    attending: "no...."

    me: "13th?"

    attending: "no...."

    me: "12th?"

    attending: "no...."

    me: (maybe i was going the wrong way) "18th?" (was there even an 18th?)

    resident: (feeling sorry for me) "you know the story about cake, don't you?"

    me: "yeah, yeah! let them eat CAKE!! marie.. marie antoinette or something...."

    attending and resident: "yes! who was her husband?"

    me: "..........."

    me: "................................................"

    attending again turns to me and arches his eyebrows: "LOOOIE the 16th."

    silence in the room for 15 minutes, as attending and resident contemplate my ignorance of history, randomly shaking their heads slowly every once in a while.

    me feeling like a little piece of ddong. what the heck. what the heck. how am i supposed to prepare for a HISTORY pop quiz? i don't even LIKE history. in fact, i disliked history quite a bit. it always seemed untrustworthy to me.

    attending: "do you know who the inventor of the toilet was?"

    me: "no..."

    attending: "john crapper."

    me: thinking that this is the point when attending or resident cracks a joke, and the tension is suddenly relieved in the room " HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! that's a good one, sir!"

    attending: in a flat tone "that wasn't a joke. he really did invent the toilet."

    me: "oh. .................great........."


    ch:jyc?re:hmp.jyn


    yakob at 6:49 PM



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