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plastics wk 2, day 3
hand surgeries. very cool. controlled. precise. good outcomes. i like this. i could do this, i think. cysts, carpal tunnel release. **** life in the OR ***** attending (in a N.Carolina accent. i don't know what a N. Carolina accent really sounds like, but this is what i'd imagine it to be. it's SOME kind of southern accent, ok?!): "so this here is a guillotine. do you know what a guillotine is, jason?" me: (jason?! jason?! i thought you knew me, dr. ****!! aaaggh. not again...) "uh, yessir." attending: "so, what is it, JASON?" me: "it's... (how do you describe a guillotine? everyone knows what a guillotine is) it's... a ... blade ... thing... it slides... you whack off heads with it..." attending stops what he was doing and turns to me, with his eyebrows raised: "ooooooooooooooook. ......... do you know when the guillotine was first invented, put to use?" me: (trying to think back to history, but memories of research i did at hopkins where i guillotined rat's heads off kept coming to mind instead. think, think, THINK!!! finally, my trusty picture memory came though, and i remembered a project i did in elementary school. i remember drawing pictures of castles, knights, and guillotines, which must have been in use during ...) ".... medieval times!!" attending: "medieval times? medieval times!! MEDIEVAL TIMES?! (my trusty spidey sense tells me that this is not the right answer) geezlouise, what are they teaching you these days? turns to resident: do you believe that? medieval times!!" me: ..........(smoke dribbling out of my head).... attending: "what college did you go to?" me: "johns hopkins, sir." attending: "johns hopkins? they don't teach you history there?" me: ....thinking..... seriously, DID they ever teach me history? "....uh......i'm not sure, sir." attending: "do you know of a famous historical person that died by guillotine? i'll give you a clue. the FRENCH invented it." me: (really? no way. i thought the brits invented it... i still couldn't shake the pictures of medieval stuff from my elementary school project). "oh really?....." silence. i think he still wanted me to guess, even though i clearly didn't know it was french. attending: "here's another clue. it was a king LOOOIE. LOOOIE the...." me: "14th? (i know king louis the XIV had done SOMETHING big. i just didn't remember what)" attending: "no...." me: "13th?" attending: "no...." me: "12th?" attending: "no...." me: (maybe i was going the wrong way) "18th?" (was there even an 18th?) resident: (feeling sorry for me) "you know the story about cake, don't you?" me: "yeah, yeah! let them eat CAKE!! marie.. marie antoinette or something...." attending and resident: "yes! who was her husband?" me: "..........." me: "................................................" attending again turns to me and arches his eyebrows: "LOOOIE the 16th." silence in the room for 15 minutes, as attending and resident contemplate my ignorance of history, randomly shaking their heads slowly every once in a while. me feeling like a little piece of ddong. what the heck. what the heck. how am i supposed to prepare for a HISTORY pop quiz? i don't even LIKE history. in fact, i disliked history quite a bit. it always seemed untrustworthy to me. attending: "do you know who the inventor of the toilet was?" me: "no..." attending: "john crapper." me: thinking that this is the point when attending or resident cracks a joke, and the tension is suddenly relieved in the room " HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! that's a good one, sir!" attending: in a flat tone "that wasn't a joke. he really did invent the toilet." me: "oh. .................great........." ch:jyc?re:hmp.jyn yakob at 6:49 PM |
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