Thursday, April 17

plastics: wk 1, day 4

facial reconstruction: repair of inferior orbital border (zygomatic bone). pt had a big hollow under his eye, where bone was missing.

we injected hydroxyapatate granules, which covered the defect. just like that.

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i spoke with dr. Z re: a missions trip to honduras this summer. dr. Z has the power to grant me school money to fund this trip. he told me that nyu would pay for transportation as well as living expenses there if i did nyu's program. that is good in that it is well structured, i will do lots of fieldwork, and recieve spanish lessons/classes while there.

the problem is, it is not medical MISSIONS, which was the whole point for me. if i go thru GHO/CMDA, nyu will not pay a penny. in which case i would have to scramble to raise funds. POOP.

the thing is, i can't totally turn my back on his offer. this might be a valuable chance for me to see what non-missions fieldwork is like, so that i might be able to apply the positive things to my future missions work. and it will be completely funded. (is this the work of the devil, to make money so readily available, if only i would go THIS way? hm...)

on the other hand, i've been promising myself, SOON, SOON, SOON, to go on a medical missions trip for such a long time now. now that it is practically right in front of me, it is difficult to accept this alternative and wait LONGER for the missions trip that i've longed to do. i'm afraid that too many things could happen, and that trip might be postphoned till WAY later. i want to do it NOW. to give the best years of my life to God, not my crappy old and weak years.

what to do? what to do? what to do?


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awesome. SH has been sharing some of her changes and joys in her life with me. it is encouraging to hear this. so often, it seems like we pray and pray and pray. or sometimes we get tired, and DON'T pray. so to hear this is a bright new outlook. i'm stupid, i forget, and need reminders like this every once in a while.

i'm ashamed to remember how i scorned the "stupid israelites" who would keep forgetting what God did for them when i was growing up in sunday school. i remember the heavy, damning scorn i had for them. and now i feel that scorn that i flung so enthusiastically being reflected back onto my head.

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i need to stop saying crazy outlandish things. i've heard "weirdo" from ppl that "know" me a little too often these days.

not to self: jo. jntl. mii. sorry.

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then there are times when one of my YG kids tell me what i mean to them. makes me hang my head. feeling smacked-down/wrecked/thankful/in awe/convicted. God, how is it possible that you are using a person like me to be a positive influence on these kids? i can't believe it sometimes. (other ppl can't believe it sometimes, either. hahaha)...




yakob at 7:26 PM

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