Friday, December 6

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken....(but) the only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of and perturbations of love is Hell."

The Four Loves - C.S. Lewis

i've said this many times to others, that being vulnerable is a key element of love. i had no idea that C.S. Lewis said the same.

this idea first came to me not from a study, not from a teaching, but from reading julie of the wolves.

the dynamics of the wolf pack fascinated me, but one of the most interesting things of all was how the wolves demonstrated love to the pack leader. it was a combination of love, humility, and vulnerability.

the wolf would lower his head at the feet of the leader, and then roll on his back, make himself vulnerable to attack by baring his neck.

that stuck with me for a long time, though i didn't know why it seemed so important to me then.

sometimes, people come talk to me about getting into relationships, getting hurt in the process. one common thing i hear, is: "i don't want to get into another relationship, because i know i'll get hurt."

my answer to that is: READ JULIE OF THE WOLVES. (or C.S. Lewis)

the very essence of love lies in this vulnerabilty. how is love meaningful, if you go into a relationship completely shielded and guarded? where is the trust? the bond/understanding that comes from knowing that you are vulnerable to the other, but also that the other cares for you deeply?

i purposely didn't say, knowing that the other won't hurt you. because the fact is, the hurts come. deep hurts, all the deeper BECAUSE it IS from someone so loved.

though the hurt might come (and because we are human, the hurt WILL come), the joy that comes from genuine reciprocated love makes such hurts, which seemed like the entire world falling just a while ago, become nothing.

genuine love has no reservations. holding nothing back. it is to plunge forward completely, not looking back, not clinging onto anything behind you.

maybe i don't know the love that is shared with a woman yet. that's ok. when it comes, i will give my all, and go in as wholly and absolutely as i have been holding back, waiting. and even if i NEVER experience this sort of love, that's ok. i'll not compromise. people can say that i am picky, superficial, arrogant, unrealistic, idealistic, foolish romantic, etc, etc. i will nod my head. perhaps those are all true statements... perhaps. but i will only jump once.

and though i haven't experienced that sort of love, i think i am still qualified to speak of love. because i know the love of God, which is much deeper and true. it is an overwhelming love, an unconditional love. it blows me away, sometimes, to think how i hurt Him, again and again, again and again. and for such a person as me, for such a person as you, God sent His son, Jesus.

and consider the treatment that man gave the Son of God, who made himself completely vulnerable to us: He was mocked, rejected, beaten, persecuted, whipped, humiliated, and executed. don't blame the Romans. don't blame the Jews. it is I who put him on that cross. it is YOU who put him on the cross. it is US. it is our sins that put him on that cross. if we don't accept who He is, and the purpose for which He has come to earth, then we join the mockers, the rejectors, the beaters, and the executors.

this issue isn't one that any man can be passive about. it is not an issue for just christians. it is something that each and every man must take a stance upon. where do you stand?

can i fully grasp what this type of love is? that God himself, who is the Almighty, powerful and majestic, could love me so much that he would make himself THIS vulnerable? to be hurt beyond what any man has ever known? and in the midst of being hurt by the very ones he loves, to still love, love, and love...

i have no words. let the gospel speak for itself.

yakob at 3:01 AM

-----------------