Thursday, July 4

in NJ now. talked at length with dad about psychiatry, psychoanalytic theory, freud on car ride back.

had dinner, good talks with parents

we saw two movies tonight, musa and shallow hal.

musa
dave saw it some time back and had raved about it. the korean braveheart, he said, only better. i was skeptical, but come away a believer. first of all, i want to say that korean moviemaking has come so far, it's improvement is ridiculous. my sassy girl (romantic comedy) and musa are two of the best movies i've seen in a long time.

musa is essentially about a group of korean soldiers who are ordered with protecting a korean ambassador to china. things fall apart, and this group goes thru everything. it is about integrity, honor, loyalty, love. you see the good sides of human nature. and more realistically, you see many ugly sides of human character. the quality of acting in this movie was really good. the music was incredible, until the closing song (a chinese pop song...where did that come from?). when was the last time you saw a movie where there were just a lot of studly awesome korean men? answer: never. (korean girls, this is your only chance, you gotta see this movie. it'll restore hope) closest is maybe moh le shi geh. action and violence is extreme, but realistic and right in the context of what is happening. maybe one of the best drama/action/epics i've ever seen. it will probably come out in the US in a few years, since sony bought the rights to it recently.

i think it will draw attn to korean guys. then, when girls of other ethnic backgrounds look at us, they'll see very short and skinny guys that giggle. not exactly stud material...

shallow hal
dave and i rented this from blockbuster because we wanted to get a couple of good laughs before going to bed. boy, were we surprised. has anyone seen this movie? it's not funny at all. i felt like God was pointing a finger at me. at the very least, my conscience was screaming at me to wake up. i am not like hal. i AM hal AND maurice. i don't know how many times i've said or thought things that were painfully echoed in that movie. every line was a punch in my stomach. i knew what was coming, but even when it came, i was not ready for it. the aches i felt watching this movie were extremely painful. i don't know how many times i had to hit dave to release the tension in me, or the number of times i pounded myself with a pillow. oh no, oh no, oh no. don't do that. don't say that. oh no oh no oh no... (remembering the times i've done that. said that)

God forgive me. even if i have defended myself in the past, saying: i'm not ascribing their personality to their looks, or that i am taking and leaving things only at face value, or that beauty can be appreciated, as one appreciates pretty flowers and such, i'm not judging the book by its cover, i'm just judging the cover, etc., i have no defense against this movie. i have been tried, convicted, and punished. Lord, forgive me. women/ladies/sisters that i have "appreciated" or have "unappreciated," please forgive me. i almost cried when that little girl cadence came out. cadence, i might have to name a daughter after you.

the only relief from the pounding, condemning gavel was at the tail end of the movie, with some moments of comic relief. much needed. or else i would've gone to bed curled up with my thumb in my mouth.

it's weird, because i've never met the farelly brothers, but they think a little too much like me for comfort. even in their retarded jokes, those are the same kind of lame jokes and facial expressions that my brothers and i have used since we were little. it's as if the farelly brothers sat in our home, and took everything we did and made it into a movie. it freaks me out. i thought only OUR family was like that.

i needed this movie. i think all guys need to watch this movie. i think i need to spend more time in prayer.

yakob at 3:07 AM

-----------------