(stolen from PK)

Girls are like apples
on trees. The best ones are at the top
of the tree. The boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they are afraid of
falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just
get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't
as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in reality,
they're amazing. They just have to wait for
the right man to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the
way to
the top
of the
tree.

Translation: Some girls are stuck up.

Stuck way up in a tree. What are you doing in a tree? The reason why you can't find a guy is because you're in a tree. Come down to the ground where guys find girls in the real world.

There are plenty of monkeys that climb the tree and these girls reject them because they're not "cute" enough, didn't go to the right "school", don't have the right "job", and most of all, they're too "nice."

Guys are like monkeys. The nice ones are like Curious George and they climb the trees only to get rejected by all the apples stuck up in the tree. But the smart ones are like King Kong and they shake the ish out of the tree and all the apples fall to the ground for the pickin. After they fall to the ground, the apples yell, "choose me! choose me!" But King Kong just shook the tree for fun. What a jerk. But this makes the apples like him more.

Curious George becomes heeby jeeby. King Kong stomps on the apples and goes after Jane on top of The Empire State Building. And there are plenty of lonely apples.

Thus, the birth of Online Dating Services.


thank you, PK.