J 24:7
Wednesday, August 20

"I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord.
They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will
return to me with all their heart."
Jeremiah 24:7

my kids came back from last year's J 24:7 pumped up and changed so much that i had to go this year to see what the hubaloo was all about. i even watched the video of last year's j 24:7 on the jfm site when i was feeling low, to remind myself of why i was in YG ministry.

the first significant event occured merely 2 minutes away from the hotel. yooie was driving, zhi on shotgun, carol and kevin in middle seat, and esther, josh and i were sitting in the back. we were crossing an intersection on a green light (of this detail, i am absolutely sure, because i had my eyes on the intersection signals, looking for "ocean ave," where we were supposed to make a left. as we were crossing, i saw a jeep cherokee coming at us from the right.

not speeding, not slowing down, just coming. because of the relatively low speed at which he was going, i thought he would be able to stop on time, but the next thing i knew, he had slammed into us.

i immediately checked up again at the signals. we were STILL in the green. then i looked to the right (where the jeep had come from). the rest of the cars from the right were only starting to go NOW, so i knew that the jeep had shot out early.

the next few hours were a blur of disbelief, police and slow-mo, which reminded me of the time my college friends and i were hit by a drunk girl during a trip in florida.

thus began our retreat.

my SG started really slow. it was inevitable, since it was composed of older guys. the years in working with JH and HS students (with NSLC and YG) have taught me that you can't or shouldn't dictate to older students the way you can with the younger guys. younger kids need that firm direction, and they will follow unquestioningly. older students resent the stiff hand and pull themselves distant. the best thing with older kids is to be consistent, available, and loving.

we eventually came up with our banner and name: THE LIFESAVERS. based on p*'s sharing: in my life, Jesus has saved my life many times.

all the sermons were awesome, but i have to share one, the first one, in depth, because it was so awesome.

WORSHIP I: (Pastor Paul Kim)
text: Psalm 73

-God is good! All the time! right? right? then how come i don't always feel this way?
--> Psalm 73: in the 1st half, the psalmist confesses that those who live by the world seem to have it better. they base their confidence on themselves, do whatever they want, sin doesn't bother them, they claim heaven and earth, and other peopel turn to THEM to drink and hang with. he becomes heavy of heart and depressed and says, "when I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me..."

psalmist seems to say, "Lord, i've kept my heart pure, for WHAT? for WHAT?! christian life is a punishment! a disease!"

THEN, verse 17 "...till i entered the sanctuary of God..."

which leads the psalmist to completely change in the 2nd half of the psalm:

"Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds."

-there is a HUGE difference between the 1st and 2nd halves of the psalm. WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT CHANGED? ---> verse 17 :"till I entered the sanctuary of God."

the psalmist, after having tasted both 2 states of being, now knows what is better. people who have chosen the world, the pleasures of the world, the ease and comfort of the world, might think that it is better. but anyone who has "entered the sanctuary of the God" KNOWS. KNOWS that choosing God is BETTER. that, "God is GOOD. ALL THE TIME."

ex: happy meal vs. filet mignon.
a: i like my happy meal! it tastes good!
b: a happy meal might seem good to you, but boy, you've never tasted filet mignon! you've never tasted that meat slowly melt in your mouth, flavors hitting every nerve in your mouth. you've never experienced the warmth that sinks into your body, the sensation that makes you go, "ooo HO HO HO ooo...!!!" and DEMAND that your significant other gets a taste, too, and experience with you.

ex: hyundai accent vs. BMW M3 CSL (the ultimate driving machine)
a: i like my accent. it gets me places, doesn't eat a lot of gas. it's cute.
b: for SURE, you've never driven a BMW M2 CSL. it just purrs. you feel the purr along your legs, all the hint of power crouching, waiting. and then you let her go and experience pure joy, car becoming one with the road, wind blowing your hair, freedom as william wallace might have understood the word.

-worship isn't singing, clapping, great music. worship is when you are CONSUMED, your ALL, something so wonderful that you want to just enjoy it yourself, but you HAVE to share with someone else.

- God offers us the divine pleasure of worship. If God gives you filet mignon, will you put it in your hand? on your head? NO! you put it in your mouth! God offers us this divine pleasure of worship, and you must put it on the tongue of your SOUL!

and how did the change in the psalmist come out? verse 17 :"till I entered the sanctuary of God."

/sermon

i liked this sermon particularly because it addresses the #1 problem i see YG kids (and lots of adult christians, for that matter) facing today.

"the bible/pastors/jdsn/teachers tell me to do one thing, but I DON'T WANT TO DO IT. christian life seems to be one of torture! difficult, restrictive, so many rules, you have to live life a certain way, and people are always looking at you, ready to jump on you as a hypocrite. heck, that's one of the reasons i can't surrender and give my life wholly to christ, because i see so many hypocrites and christians that fail, and i've scoffed at them in my heart. if i give my all, not only will i be looked in the same way by others, but worse, I'LL look at myself that way, and i'll know that i'm being a hypocrite, that i am not consistent and true to myself. why should i want this? christian life is full of boring, dour activites. look at the life my non-christian friends are living. they're living it up!!"

which is captured in the first portion of the psalm. but when one truly enters the sanctuary of God, it is a complete transformation.

"Yet I am always with you; (we are with God always. but how? why?)
you hold me by my right hand. (because GOD WILL NOT LET GO)

You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you. (SUCH A DRASTIC CHANGE OF HEART!)

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds."

for anyone who has tasted BOTH: the world and its seemingly greater pleasures vs. the sanctuary and presence of the Almighty God, there IS NO QUESTION, NO DOUBT. "earth has nothing i desire but you."

for lots of YG kids, adults out there, you haven't tasted the full pleasure of God on the tongue of your soul. taste, and be convinced, be convicted.

and choose God, not the world. because God IS good, ALL the time.

****
it would take too long to summarize the rest of the sermons, but i would also like to share small tidbits and illustrations that i found wonderful.

fears vs biblical courage:

starts with right perspective: STOP LOOKING AT YOURSELF, AND LOOK TOWARDS GOD.
it is NOT about yourself (a theme that pastor John Ng was big on).

a) whether it is self adulation: boasting and thinking about yourself- yeah, i'm pretty smart. i'm a decent baller. i'm a pretty good guitarist. chicks dig me (said in george muresan accent)
b) self-flagellation: rocking yourself- FREAK! i'm so freakin stupid! omg, i'm so FAT. why does my nose look like that? am i balding?! how come i'm always the "friend" girl and not ever the "DAMN, she's hot" girl? why am i so short?! my arms look like toothpicks...

BOTH are forms of selfishness. get OVER yourself. God made you AS YOU ARE. it's not about you.

-keep your eyes on God, and you may walk on water (as peter did)
-take your eyes off, and you will surely sink

ex: pastor Young taking a walk along the shore of lake michigan. moon was sitting low on the horizon of the lake. if you look at the light along the waves, there is no direction to the scattering of light. waves move light every which way. yet, if you raise your eyes to look at the moon, you see that even the light on the waves make a straight path to the moon.

this point also stuck out for me because this is also a point that comes up frequently. i know a lot of ppl, myself included, that make a hobby of rocking themselves, drowning and flailing in the mud of our inadequacies. IT IS A FORM OF SELF INDULGENCE. stop looking at yourself, and look up!!

***
there was so much more. that was merely a taste of what was going on at the retreat. so awesome.

the praise rocked the house. i have to say, worshipping with these guys is really a celebration, on the scale of celebrating a lakers championship (which will come soon enough), not just a passive duty that seems to be the norm these days with the older group in church.

singing? clapping? raising hands? jumping up and down? linking arms along shoulders and swaying to "dance in the river?" getting the groove on with the funky moves that you would never display on the dance floor? it was all happening. it was sweet. thanks, jfm.

but, by far, the best thing about the retreat was meeting 8 young men on different paths of their spiritual lives, all struggling with different things. 4 days is too short for me to get to know them the way i want to, and vice versa. but i don't think my relationship with them is over. i am confident that i will see them again, and perhaps soon.

M7:LIFESAVERS
j.c.l
dn.c.
dn.k.
dv.k.
kw.k.
pl.k.
dv.l.
dk.l.
jn.y.



yakob at 1:35 PM

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