Friday, May 16

my heart is broken

d-fish. when i saw those tears streaming down your eyes, it ceased to just be the end of a great run.

it was also about a man who worked his butt off to be better, BECAME better, PLAYED better, shot VASTLY IMPROVED, and yet was benched in the final, most crucial game, because he was a tad slower than tony parker.

so he had to watch his team get clobbered, tears flowing unashamed, unabated. he had to watch, unable to do anything. frustrated that he worked all year to improve, shaken to the truth that it would not be enough. i love you, d-fish, but you were not enough.

devean george. i've been down on you for so long. but then i saw you step on the court with that bum ankle. i saw you grit your teeth, you cut and turned on that ankle. i heard you scream when the pain was too much, but you kept playing. kept doing the little things. you deserve to be a laker.



kobe. i was mad at you, for not showing up for this ALL IMPORTANT game, only several days after making me believe that anything was possible, that your will to win could overcome all odds, any deficit. you strangely disappeared in this game, made me wonder if there was something wrong with you, some injury that i didn't know about.

i wanted to shake you for those turnovers, the missed passes. the no-show.

then i saw you force yourself to hold your head straight as you hugged the spurs congratulations, your external jugular vein sticking out, holding that bolus of air in your mouth as you squeezed everything inside, holding back all the emotions that needed to come out.

jim gray, king of insensitive interviewing, came to you. i heard you struggling to sound normal, composed. and i couldn't be mad anymore. how could i? i'm just really sad.

and finally, i'm saddest of all that we didn't win because this was the year that was dedicated to chick hearn. chick, you deserved better than this game.

*******

we went out to receive some solace from the lunar eclipse that was supposed to be out. except we had no idea where the moon was supposed to be, and so missed it.

on such a night, even the moon seemed to be hidden in deep sorrow.

but no story is complete without that glimmer of light, the start of a new beginning, a promise:

"I hate this feeling, I don't ever want to feel it again.''
- Kobe Bryant. (5/16/03)

but kobe, you've worked hard, nearly non-stop for the past four years. you've been asked to do and be pretty much anything and everything for this team. take some time off, and recuperate. even jordan played golf in the off-season.

"the next season begins NOW." (said in a broken voice, while tears were forming in his eyes. .......... this man is stronger than i. )

so, does that mean you are going to work pretty hard in the off-season?

"i work until exhaustion."

I CHALLENGE ANYONE TO SHOW ME A BALLER THAT LOVES THIS GAME MORE, THAT WANTS TO WIN MORE. HEART? THIS MAN DEFINES HEART, DESIRE, DEDICATION. there are many talented ballers out there: t-mac, kg, ai. and then there is kobe, in an entirely different class.

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i can't sleep.


yakob at 12:50 AM

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