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  • Wednesday, March 12

    surgery wk 2, day 10

    i like surgery. really. i like seeing things open up, the bowels just sprawling out there. it's way cool. i've come like the smell of the open perotineum as well. in fact, it's slightly sweet, if you inhale deep enough.

    i don't even mind the hours that much. the one thing that scares me away from surgery is the people. i'm astounded on a daily basis that some of these people are tolerated by society. there is a certain amount of civil behavior that is required to interact with others in society, regardless of socieconomic position, religion, race, or any other factor. we've reached that point in civilization, i think. there is the acknowledgement that there is a person in front of you, something that is recognized even in adversity.

    but this, this is a stripping away of humanity. beasts don't act this way.

    today, a senior resident screamed at a junior resident: "you DIDN'T DO _______ yesterday."
    junior resident: "but i DID. i absolutely know i did!"
    senior resident: "you DIDN'T!! (stopped walking during rounds, and was screaming loud enough for everyone to hear)
    senior resident: (jabbing a finger in junior resident's face, so incensed that spittle was flying from his mouth) "look, make SURE you do it today. DON'T FUMBLE!!!"
    junior resident: (about to say something)
    senior resident: "NO! NO! NO! NO! DON'T FUMBLE!!!!!"
    junior resident: (about to say something)
    senior resident: "NO! NO! NO! NO! DON'T FUMBLE!!!!!"
    medical students: frozen stiff with fear. never having seen such a scene in our medical careers, we were afraid to move.

    lucky me, i was in TWO 4 hour surgeries with this scary senior resident, and the tyrannosaurus of all, the attending who strikes fear into all medical students, junior and senior residents, and even other attendings. up until now, i was able to go with other attendings. but today, i had no choice.

    most of the operation went without incident. in fact, the atttending didn't pimp me at all. hardly acknowledged me but as a person to hold the retractor. i was ok as that. i wasn't expecting a lot of teaching anyway.

    how many ppl have stood in ONE spot for 4 hrs straight? without moving? at the third hr, my legs were tired, strained, starting to tingle and become numb, so i needed to do SOMETHING. i shifted my weight a little, and went on my tippy toes several times. suddenly, the attending, who up to this point had been nearly mute, stopped what he was doing and yelled, "what are you doing?! DON'T MOVE at ALL! if you want to exercise, go outside!"

    needless to say, i was a motionless rock for the remainder of the op and the next op. numb legs or no.

    although that incident shocked the nuts out of me, what was really hilarious was the interaction between the attending and the senior resident. i mean, if you ever wanted comedy, this was it.

    two of the most sarcastic ppl i've ever met. one with more power and authority than the other. the resident managing to be sarcastic while still respecting the authority of the other. it was a riot. at some point, the resident was flailing about, trying to get SOME type of positive response from the attending, who just wasn't biting, who was just very determined to be bitter and ascerbic to the very end.

    so when the attending asked, "what the h*ll are you doing?!" the resident tried to crack a joke and said, "i'm trying to show off, (with an oh-so-awkward laugh) ha ha ha"

    attending: "trying to show off?! what the h*ll is wrong with you? you're doing it all wrong!" (missing the joke COMPLETELY)

    i wonder if the resident saw my eyes chink up over the face mask. i wonder if he knew i was laughing silently. i hope my shoulders didn't move too much...



    yakob at 9:29 PM



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