Thursday, August 8

Psych wk 6, day 29:

today was my last day of my first clerkship, psychiatry. i can't believe it.

yesterday, gave my final presentation, which was well received. today, had my final evaluation: my attending and chief resident were pleased with my work and improvement, and more importantly, i was pretty content with what i had done. regardless of my grade, I got so much from these past 6 wks.

the chance to interact with these patients was truly priceless. i shall miss every single one of them. i remember all their names, their history, and i don't think i'll ever forget them. i suppose this was my one opportunity to observe, interact with, and treat truly mentally ill patients. the lessons i've learned here were amazing. i've done more introspection in the past wks than i have in years.

today, i discharged one of my patients. he really did get better, and i had a significant part in that. when we said our goodbye's, he gripped my hand, smiled (he had not smiled once his entire stay), and said, "thank you so much for all that you've done for me."

surge of emotion, and i couldn't think of anything better to say, than, "no, thank YOU." which didn't really make sense, and he looked kinda confused and surprised, especially because i am naturally clumsy and didn't elaborate why i was thankful.

the unit arranged to have a breakfast feast for us: a huge platter of fruit, bagels, muffins, donuts, etc. wow. just for us.
i'm going to miss everyone. just as we were getting the hang of things, we are being pulled away.

******
unfortunately, my work is not done. i have to finish a write-up that i didn't finish yesterday, and i must cram for the shelf exam tomorrow, which is at 8am. Lord, help me...

******

on monday, i start my next clerkship: OB/GYN
the idea is terrifying. i still remember the sweating and shakes from my first gyn exam. i don't know how i'm going to go through this. i still feel like a junior high school kid, for goodness sake. i can still hear that lady's calm voice, "don't you worry, son, i'm right here to guide you."
*DON'T WORRY?!! i'm just a little kid, who's supposed to rummage around in uncharted territory, YOUR anatomy, while you sit back on your reclining chair and tell me what to do, and you're telling me to NOT WORRY?!!*

"uh, son. please retract your thumb, please."
*OOPS!!!*

five min later:
"uh, son. please retract your thumb, please."
*OOPS!!!*

gyn exams, catching babies. dearie me, this world surely has problems if they are letting a clown like me deliver babies. cause you know me, i'm either gonna grimace, and say, "OH MY! that baby is UG---LY!!!" or laugh hysterically because i can't deal with the emotional aspects of delivery.

little did NYU MED know that they were taking in a person with the mental and emotional maturity of a 13 yr. old when they accepted me. (sorry, 13 yr olds who might be reading this...)

they will soon learn of their mistake.



yakob at 10:50 PM

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