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yesterday, had worship practice from 8-11.
i love the 5:00 service worship team. it is really special, to be a part of a group that just loves to praise. it's 25% practice and techinical things, and 75% people just getting together to worship God.
the ppl in the group are so talented, i am sometimes in awe and a little scared of being a part of the group. for people reading this, please, please, don't comment on this part, because i am not indirectly fishing for compliments. i am basically one step above a beginner. you know it, i know it. i can basically strum, and play along. the simple fact is, my technical talents are somwhat limited. i don't let it get me down, because praise isn't supposed to be just about talent, etc, etc. true. but sometimes, just listening to these guys, i wonder, what am I DOING here, with these guys?
but, i don't complain, because it's awesome being a part of something so special, and i covet it greatly.
yesterday, however, i was really sad. practice was the highlight of my day, what i was looking forward to all day, and you know what? i had no energy in me. i couldn't bring my best for God. physically, i was tired, but even beyond that, i felt like i didn't bring all of me, ready to worship. i was disappointed in myself, and sorry to God, that my heart wasn't all there.
*****
on my walk back home, i started thinking about what was waiting for me back in my dorm, and eventually, a stream of thought processes became, in what do i find my joy? in the past, i was all about medicine, how i would be able to use this to serve God...i was so fired up about it. these days, i find my greatest joy being amongst a body of believers, praising and worshipping God, or serving in the youth ministry.
i am not being fair to medicine, because i haven't done a lot of clinical stuff, which is REALLY what medicine will be about for me, and studying for the boards is really bringing me down. but even taking all that into account, i'm beginning to wonder...
LORD...i need Your help, and Your peace.
yakob at 3:48 PM
-----------------
i love the 5:00 service worship team. it is really special, to be a part of a group that just loves to praise. it's 25% practice and techinical things, and 75% people just getting together to worship God.
the ppl in the group are so talented, i am sometimes in awe and a little scared of being a part of the group. for people reading this, please, please, don't comment on this part, because i am not indirectly fishing for compliments. i am basically one step above a beginner. you know it, i know it. i can basically strum, and play along. the simple fact is, my technical talents are somwhat limited. i don't let it get me down, because praise isn't supposed to be just about talent, etc, etc. true. but sometimes, just listening to these guys, i wonder, what am I DOING here, with these guys?
but, i don't complain, because it's awesome being a part of something so special, and i covet it greatly.
yesterday, however, i was really sad. practice was the highlight of my day, what i was looking forward to all day, and you know what? i had no energy in me. i couldn't bring my best for God. physically, i was tired, but even beyond that, i felt like i didn't bring all of me, ready to worship. i was disappointed in myself, and sorry to God, that my heart wasn't all there.
*****
on my walk back home, i started thinking about what was waiting for me back in my dorm, and eventually, a stream of thought processes became, in what do i find my joy? in the past, i was all about medicine, how i would be able to use this to serve God...i was so fired up about it. these days, i find my greatest joy being amongst a body of believers, praising and worshipping God, or serving in the youth ministry.
i am not being fair to medicine, because i haven't done a lot of clinical stuff, which is REALLY what medicine will be about for me, and studying for the boards is really bringing me down. but even taking all that into account, i'm beginning to wonder...
LORD...i need Your help, and Your peace.
yakob at 3:48 PM