Friday, May 17

previous post is pat's input, but tonight, my mind is far from guys/girls/relationships.

i've spent the past couple of weeks, absorbed in looking to avoid those prickly thorns on the ground, and so was completely blindsided by the brick wall that slammed me tonight. (please, please, don't ask me what, however close you are to me. even you, joe. it's not mine to talk about openly or reveal)

while i've been struggling with petty things, something totally shook my world today. enough for me to ask, "Why, Lord?" i am usually a person to accept that God has his plans, and only several times in my life, have i asked God this question. when i ask this question, i feel like i am questioning whether God knows what He is doing, or as though I knew better, of what should be.

i don't mean to question God's authority tonight. i would just like to understand why. because right now, it makes absolutely no sense to me. at all. tonight, someone correctly said, "as Abraham was told to sacrifice Isaac..." and this does feel that way. because all of human wisdom/knowledge is saying that this does not make sense. all within me is saying, this does not make sense.

God, give me faith to obey with a cheerful heart, even without understanding. I submit myself, my life to you. As you will.

*****

As rocked as i am feeling tonight, i am only at the edges of this double whammy spiritual earthquake. i cannot imagine what those at the epicenter are going through. it's more difficult because they are so dear to me, everyone involved. i can only pray, and pray, and pray.

Heavenly Father.
Please. Please. it is hard to bear, Lord. if difficult for me, then many times over for them. If it lies within Your will Lord, will you bring peace into our hearts, and make things ok? Not ok as we understand it, but in Your infinite wisdom.
In Jesus' name. Amen.

i'm looking at krusty right now, and tonight, i truly am feeling the way krusty is looking.

thanks, pat, for the brief diversion and humor your comments gave me.

good night, everyone. i'm emotionally exhausted, and i think i don't have enough to study tonight.

note: for self: (SS JH l / R s C)

yakob at 2:51 AM

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