Thursday, May 16

**, who originally started off the discussion about "mystery," read my blog and wants to defend her views:

the comments posted previously here have been removed. sorry.


silly girls. the solution is, ALWAYS keep the one of the opp gender as "potential." HAHAHAHA!!!

no, but seriously, my point is the same. the mystery wanes, b/c you think you "know" the person. somehow, you've neatly categorized that person, matched him/her up with people that you already know. recognizing that each person is a work in process, and really getting to know the person, so that you can SEE the wonderful changes, that will maintain the mystery.

some people, you say, are just not mysterious. they are so boringly predictable. they are simply not very interesting. well, if you don't find them interesting, compelling, in the first place, fuggettabootit. but don't dismiss so easily! you should realize, your mate is not meant to be your jester.

girls complain that guys are superficial, that they want pretty girls...maybe that's true...but why do all girls want funny guys that will make them laugh? are you looking for a husband or a clown?

would you like your monkey to jump up and down, clanging his cymbals, so that you can get your giggles?

all i'm saying is that, even the guys that don't shine in a room, who don't carry the party, the ones you don't notice, those guys might turn out to be the most interesting people, with the most mystery.

Ruby, a classmate of mine from hopkins, (who is now finishing her first yr of medical school at Robert Wood Johnson (hey, i had to return the favor, rubes!), once told me, "Jacob, you are SO boring." she then pointed to a window of a shop (we were in D.C.), where a T-shirt was displayed. it was an EKG, showing a flatline. "i'm going to buy that shirt for you," she said. i laughed, b/c that was pretty funny, and i think i would've liked that shirt.

am i boring? i don't know. i guess i am, in many respects. i don't touch alcohol, i don't party, i don't go to clubs...does that make me boring?

well, i don't think i'm boring. i have so many interests, that i can't find enough time to do anything. i would love to take some years off, and just PAINT. just get an empty room, set stuff up, and just paint, without a care in the world. i would love to read all the books that have been recommended to me, that i could not start. i would like to play basketball everyday. i would love to sit down and write and write and write, all the things that are in my head. i want to go to central america, and really get a grip on spanish. i want to go on several missions trips. i would like to set up a hospital abroad, and have a rotating staff of doctors there from my group practice. i want to learn sign language. i want to brush up on my korean, so that i don't make a fool out of myself, when i need to talk to korean adults, like my future in-laws? i would like to specialize in many different fields, instead of just one (this was kind of a disappointing discovery, that docs pick a specialty and just do that thing for the rest of their lives). i would like to really KNOW medicine.

my idea of a good time? to just be in a nice place, a beautiful place. i can enjoy that sort of thing by myself, and more with people i like. i'm perfectly ok with silence, in just being. just because you're with someone doesn't mean that both of you need to be yapping away. the best is when you feel like the things around you doesn't matter. there is God, and there is you.

either that, or watching a laker game on a big screen tv in an air-conditioned room with my two brothers (also Lakers nuts), and other b-ball fans, (be they lakers fans or not) screaming at the TV.

see, am i boring? well, actually, if it's not hurting you, i don't really care if people think i'm boring or not. i'm happy to be as God made me, interested in the things i'm interested in. if that is boring to you, so be it. i can bear the burden of being called that. :)

i'm not saying that I am one with a lot of mystery. if you think so, great! (you can drop me a line by email, and then... haha)
all i'm saying is that we all need some real perspective.

one time in junior year, a bunch of guys were just hanging out, playing guitar, doing our thing, and eventually, the talk turned to girls, as it so frequently happened in those days (nearly EVERY conversation...my goodness...did we have NOTHING else on our minds?!! sometimes, i wonder...) and we kinda went around, generally voicing our thoughts on girls, relationships, blah, blah, blah, the same kind of lame stuff that you are reading NOW, and then we asked james ha, "hey, james, what do YOU think? you DO like girls, right?" and he says,

"well, i used to have the same type of problem, and i have struggled with that...." (we were stunned. JAMES? JAMES? really?) "...but sometime ago, I thought of all the people that are going to hell, and I really can't think of stuff like that, or of anything but their salvation."

*silence* (cawing of ravens in the distance)

i mean, what do you say to that? haha. man, did that put a lid to our talk on that subject. we were humbled, smacked down, OT style.

with that, i'll put an end to this long, rambling, rant.

yakob at 9:57 PM

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