Monday, April 29

had another strange dream last night. i originally did this blogger thing to record what i was going through during my clerkship years, but it is turning into a record of my weird dreams. i don't recall having these types of dreams before. it is very strange. as a joke, a friend said, "maybe God is talking to you in your dreams, because you aren't listening while you're awake." it was funny, but at the same time, maybe...maybe...

dream:
two friends and i desperately needed to get to the top of some structure. my two friends somehow managed to climb up telephone poles and use the wires, but they were progressing very slowly, and constantly flipping around. i was on the ground, just thinking of how i might get there.

next thing i know, i am there, in a room at the top of the building. there are several people in the room, casually lounging about. my friends come into the room, exhausted. they walk by right next to me, without seeing me. a woman from the room, says to me, they can't see you. i realize that my friends are seeing an empty room, because they don't see me nor the other people. something had happened to me, and i had become like these people.

the woman grabbed my hand, and the entire group went outside, into the early evening, leaving my friends behind. "we need money," someone said. the group headed to a strange bank. the woman commanded me and another to get some money. i was confused, because that wasn't my bank, and they seemed to want a LOT of money. my partner gave a broad grin and pulled me along. we walked into the bank, unseen, and proceeded to the vault. i was shaking, but too scared to go against the grain. i helped my partner pack gold bricks while in a daze, refusing to think...we made our way out of the bank, where the rest was waiting.

"hey!" someone yelled. "what are you doing? drop that bag!" the gang took one look at the man who had yelled and scrambled as one body. i, too, scrambled with them. i asked the woman, "how can he see us?"

"he is like us." she replied. "but he and his kind did not join us." i realized then that i had fallen into the wrong crowd, a group that had no qualms about using this bizzare state of existence (or did we exist?) to steal. i belonged to the other people (there was now a significant number of people giving chase). i wanted to just turn back and join them, but i couldn't. nor could i stay with this group. i turned a corner by myself, and wove along the alleys until i was alone.

i walked alone, on the sidewalks, just feeling bad. a man who had been walking near me suddenly hesitated, and looked around. i had the eerie feeling that he knew i was there. he squinted his eyes and peered about, even sniffing. my curiosity over his ability to sense me was abruptly cut short as he lunged at me. i easily dove under his arm. he still did not see me, but knew that i was there. he shouted something into the night. i broke my silence and yelled something back at him. he snapped his head toward me, and began after me. i ran, zig-zagging, but could not shake him. somehow, he no longer had any difficulty seeing me. i ran into the street, and he was still in pursuit.

scckkkkkkkkreeeeeeeeeeeeekkk!!!! thunk!!

i looked back, to see the man, crumbled under a cab. i couldn't believe it. i had caused the death of a man. all because i couldn't keep my mouth shut.

i prayed when i woke up, because these dreams were scaring me. in my dream, i was cowardly, a robber, and a murderer. i don't think i would nor could ever act as i did in my dream, but why was i like that in my dream? i don't know.

will this disturb the rest of your day? it sure casts a strange light on mine.

yakob at 3:07 PM

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