Saturday, June 1

i couldn't sleep. i went to bed at around 2am, but was restless in bed. while in bed, a tune kept running in my head. i lay there, listening, listening, while it formed itself. i knew it was a real song, i can tell when it's a original/unique melody that comes upon me.

at some point, i realized what it was. it was the hymn from the titanic. if you remember, as everyone realized that the titanic was going down, the four musicians were playing music to keep everyone calm. when it became apparent that everyone had to scramble to live, the band slowly dispersed...and the quartet leader proceeded to play a hymn by himself. the others stopped where they were, and one by one, rejoined him.

when i first saw titanic, it was at this point that i started to cry. the romance story was fine, but it was just another story. but when those musicians did that, i couldn't hold back. i was so proud, that moment, that i had to privilege of playing the violin and viola. all those years of suffering, practicing, or not-practicing, the times when i practiced with anger, the times when i was fuming with anger, thinking that i would drop the instrument as soon as i got into college, all that went away when i saw that scene with the four musicians. then, all those scenes with people dying, mothers trying to save their kids, old couples embracing as they died, THEN, those scenes became real to me.

but, as i recognized the song that was running through my head while lying in bed, i wondered, why? why did this song suddenly come into my head? it's not like i saw the titanic recently, or talked about it, or saw an orchestral performance recently. (maybe it was the emmanuelle beart picture? i don't know. that's the closest association i could make)

anyway, i got out of bed, and looked up the hymn on google. i knew the melody, i had heard it sung many times in the adult congregation growing up. i didn't know its english title, or what the lyrics were at all.

i searched, "titanic+quartet" and came up with the title: Nearer, My God, to Thee.
here is the hymn:

Nearer, My God, to Thee

Sarah Flower Adams (1805–1848)

NEARER, my God, to thee,
Nearer to thee!
E’en though it be a cross
That raiseth me,
Still all my song would be, 5
Nearer, my God, to thee,
Nearer to thee!

Though like the wanderer,
The sun gone down,
Darkness be over me, 10
My rest a stone,
Yet in my dreams I’d be
Nearer, my God, to thee,
Nearer to thee.

There let the way appear 15
Steps unto heaven;
All that thou send’st to me
In mercy given;
Angels to beckon me
Nearer, my God, to thee, 20
Nearer to thee.

Then, with my waking thoughts
Bright with thy praise,
Out of my stony griefs
Bethel I’ll raise; 25
So by my woes to be
Nearer, my God, to thee,
Nearer to thee.

Or if on joyful wing
Cleaving the sky, 30
Sun, moon, and stars forgot,
Upwards I fly,
Still all my song shall be,
Nearer, my God, to thee,
Nearer to thee!


What a lovely song, I thought...

...I did a little more research and discovered... the song is based on Jacob's experience when he dreamt about the ladder in heaven!! WHOA!!!
is that insane, or what? i mean, not that it is based on that, but that this is the most appropriate song for this site.(YAKOV's LADDER) i'm very freaked out right now, not the least because it is 5:17am, and i am feeling like God is trying to get my attention for something.

"And he took of the stones of that place, and put them for his pillows, and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it." --Genesis 28:11-12

Sarah Flower (later Adams) was brilliant and had varied talents. Because of poor health, she dismissed all thoughts of a career she had long dreamed about. She began to write. In the field of writing she gained her greatest achievement.

The hymn, “Nearer, My God, to Thee,” will immortalize her as long as time lasts.

It is said to be the greatest hymn ever written by a woman.

i've downloaded the mp3 from the titanic soundtrack, and am listening to it over and over, as i read and reread these lines. get the song yourself and read these lines as you listen. it's so beautiful.







yakob at 5:12 AM

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