hope / faith / medicine? as my isaac
Saturday, September 13

scott boyles, our regional CMDA director came to speak for this wk's fellowship mtg and spoke on HOPE, FAITH, and what we (in the world of medicine) live for.

what do christian medical students rest their hopes on? what do they have faith in?

they were very important and powerful questions, especially for those in the world of medicine. because medicine tends to produce a slightly (or greatly) arrogant, SELF-confident, SELF-dependent person who rests his hopes on his OWN ability, smarts, and hardwork. rarely is he TRULY broken, because he had to be successful to be where he is.

to my brothers and sisters who are also in medicine and health-related fields: there is something WAY WAY WAY above and more important than medicine: God, our relationship with Him, and our hope/faith which rests in Christ Jesus.

if medicine was suddenly stripped from our lives, would we be broken and lost, purpose suddenly taken away from us? all that we had put in starting from high school: all those all-nighters, thoughts of the rest/success which dances just beyond our reach on the other side of tomorrow's exam, would we consider all that as wasted? would i?

NO. i hope not. no matter what is taken away from me, even if it is something that i've kept in my sights for so many years, i will not be lost. if God asks me to give this up, can i? will i be able to sacrifice my isaac? i believe so. i hope that when the time comes, whether it is this or something else, when God asks me to give up something i care about so much, more than my own life, that i will be able to.

AND BLESS HIS NAME, as i give it up. (may these words be tried and true when the time comes, and not foolish Peter-like boastings given only in passion.)

already, in my infantile career, there have been choices i've had to make. for sure, i've not made the best decisions, all the time. some will look at my track record at shake their heads, call me stupid, a failure, or a waste. that is fine. i'm willing to bear that sign. i know that i've made many bad decisions, but i also know that when those decisions came up, i've chosen God over my career.

i've chosen to err on my career rather than choose badly the wrong way. at each branch, i've asked myself, "if you can't choose correctly here, how do you expect to choose correctly when God asks you to sacrifice your isaac?"

(this is not an excuse for my performance. to be sure, i've made bad decisions that had nothing to do these issues. i am a work in progress in a field that doesn't stop to listen to excuses or accept anything other than perfection. people's lives and health are at stake. 99% is not good enough.)

the fact is, even christian doctors are CHRISTIANS, period. there is no exemption in christian living because we are in the world of medicine.

there is no clause that says, 'since you are ultimately working for good, helping others, you can be different, and pick and choose WHEN and HOW MUCH, just cause you are very, very busy and tired.'

being a christian means everytime, everywhere, not just when it's convenient.

the pebble in the shoe that comes with acceptance of this standard?: it takes some discipline to not press your opinions and convictions onto others. nor to judge others with your new-found standard (even if it's just in your mind). their convictions will come in time, but they are where they are, as God accords, and it is good. don't get distracted by ppl taking different paths. duck your head and hammer away, soldier.

can you do it, jacob? will you be able to sacrifice your isaac? does your hope and faith lie in the cash-cow of life that sits at the end of the rainbow of torture, or does is it truly in Jesus, and him alone?

........

*note: this post was not written in criticism of others, but as a reminder/criticism/encouragement/challenge to myself. (yeah, i'm weird)


yakob at 1:43 AM

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